Living Love

Will Never Forget When She Told Me This

Humbled by her current experience, making amends for all those days of heart ache and sadness that she caused me. Sharing kind words of encouragement that I so longed to hear back then, but can humbly say that I was able to experience years later, than not.

Hi my loves! Have you every been bullied by a teacher? I have, and it affected me in such a prolific way still till this day. With my blog being a space of lovingly living courageously I thought I would share my own story.

I always remember this teacher that I had that was beyond mean to me and made my life a living hell in elementary school for an entire school year.  She would pick on me in front of the class, comparing me to her favorite student, making me feel stupid, and at times worthless because I was not ever going to be like her fave student.  I remember I would think to myself, I REALLY didn’t want to be like her, she was stuck up, rude and couldn’t even multiply.  I just didn’t want to be ridiculed in front of the class, I just wanted to do my work and go home!

It wasn’t until the summer before my freshman year in high school when I ran into that teacher again that I was in for a shock.  She looked happy to see me…praised how smart I was and always knew that I was, for getting into the school that I was attending in the Fall and how I’d grown into such a stunning, beautiful young lady.  Pan to me, staring in complete shock thinking…what was I to make of these words, were these words what she really thought?  I had always remembered how cruel she was to me and those days I would go the bathroom and just cry my eyes out.  Was this the same teacher?  Being the polite southern girl that I was, I said thank you, forced a smile, and hide until she left.  

A few years later after that I found out that she had passed away from cancer. It was in this moment that my experience with her came into even more of a better perspective.  You do what you are experiencing. If you are unhappy with your appearance you will make other people unhappy with their appearance.  She was overweight and would always make comments about my appearance, and how I thought I was better than everyone else in front of the class.  

When life humbles us we can be kind with our words and attempt to right those wrongs that we have done to other people.  I was not aware but at the time I saw her that summer she had been battling cancer.  Humbled by her current experience, making amends for all those days of heart ache and sadness that she caused me.  Sharing kind words of encouragement that I so longed to hear back then, but can humbly say that I was able to experience years later, than not.  

I never wish hard moments on anyone, but as I stand here on the other side of many a moment of pain and bad experiences, I know how these many things serves us to make us stronger and give us perspective on being better humans.  I never want to make anyone feel how I felt that entire school year in elementary, but feel only the goodness of kind words that summer before the start of high school.  It is that memory, among many others, that guides me to be kind to others.  It is that memory that also allows me the compassion to see people for more than the words that they may share, if only from a place of pain.

Much Love, Nic

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